The Tale of Jeff of Winger
by westwingwolf
Summary: This is The Tale of Jeff of Winger and His Studying Band of Men & Women. When Professor Duncan gains control over GCC, Jeff starts a resistance to aid the student body. Minor Jeff/Annie


Disclaimer: Not mine though last night my friend did give me Joel McHale, but I suspect my ownership is not valid.  
Spoilers: Don't give away any major plots but there are references through Celebrity Pharmacology  
Summary: When Professor Duncan gains control over GCC, Jeff starts a resistance to aid the student body.  
AN: Been thinking about this story since before the break, but Advanced Dungeons & Dragons gave me the final push. 

Gather 'round ye gentle folk to hear the tale of Jeff of Winger and his band of Studying Men and Women (as Britta is wont of me to insist).

The tale began when Dean Pelton left for Denver on what he assured was conference for community college deans. When asked about the bumble bee costume he packed for his trip, he claimed it was for the annual costume contest. He was to be gone for only a week and left Professor Duncan in charge as acting dean.

And if only it had been a mere week, perhaps this story would have ended right there. But word soon came that Dean Pelton had an accident during what he assists was team building exercise. His injuries would force him to heal for an indeterminable number of weeks, and so Acting Dean Duncan would remain.

Power had soon corrupted Duncan, so he made plans to exert his control over Greendale Community College. He enacted a rule to enforce study groups of no more than seven people. With Chang officially shut out of Jeff's group, he persuaded him to join his pursuit of power and money.

At first Duncan offered free kettle corn to all the students of Greendale, but when they eventually became addicted, he set a high price and placed Chang in charge of collecting the money. He kept saying he was 'in chang' of the profits, but no one understood his comment.

All the students fell victim to irresistible snack and were forced to pay. All but Jeff who had an intense hatred for kettle corn and carbs.

However, when Duncan took Jeff's coveted parking space for his own, Jeff swore he would make Duncan regret his actions. So he enacted a plan to steal the supply of kettle corn from the administrators and give to the poor students.

As per Abed's insistence that they dress in costume to disguise themselves; he concocted a uniform of a green hats from the Greendale Hat Club, a green cape, and much to the delight of Troy: green tights.

And so the Studying Men and Women did pilfer the stock of kettle corn and anonymously supplied the student body with their favorite fun time snack. Soon rumors spread of the Greendale Green Bandits and their generous behavior.

This admiration for the bandits greatly annoyed Acting Dean Duncan and "In Chang" Chang. Foolish as they often behaved, they were not complete idiots. For they knew Jeff of Winger was behind the thefts of the precious corn, but they had no proof. So they decided to set a trap. They would establish a billiards tournament which they knew Jeff would be unable to resist. The game would be played with special billiards inside of which contained electronically controlled magnets. Chang would be the player while Duncan controlled the billiards with a remote ensuring that Chang would always hit the balls with the cue perfectly, and Jeff would fail. His reputation would be ruined. His desire to help the students of Greendale would end.

Luckily for Jeff, Maid Annie had overheard the dastardly plan. She ran to Jeff and insisted he forego the tournament. But Jeff would not abide her pleas. He assured if he ignored the challenge, his reputation would be ruined anyway. And so she insisted he at least wear a disguise. If Duncan and Chang believed he was not to play in the game, then they would not use their methods of trickery against him.

On the day of the tournament, Jeff stood at the tables with the other contestants. He felt foolish in a tacky shirt and inexpensive jeans. He most regretted the baseball cap that covered his perfectly coiffed bed head. Still he played his best and in the end stood him and Chang.

Before the final game, Duncan stood and addressed the crowd. He congratulated the two players for making it this far. And then he announced that the mysterious poorly dressed player was none of the than Jeff of Winger. The crowd gasped before a hush settled over them. Jeff removed the offending hat, shirt and jeans to reveal a green shirt and pair of green shorts.

He addressed Chang and requested they play this game with a fresh set of billiards. One still in its package and supplied by Abed. He challenged him to beat him on skill alone like a tiger. Chang could not resist the challenge and so accepted Jeff's request.

The game was tough going for Chang did indeed have skill. His last shot missed but set the ball in a difficult shot. The odds were against Jeff to make the hit and any movement of the ball would prove favor for Chang. With a quick prayer to the Gods of Billiards and Coolness, Jeff lined his shot. He drew back his cue stick and pushed forward with a graceful force. The cue ball hit the eight ball dead center and so it fell into the pocket. The crowd cheered, Jeff roared in triumph, and Chang did cry.

Then suddenly Dean Pelton appeared and demanded to know why there was an unauthorized billiards tournament in his absence. Duncan who was reeling from being thwarted yet again and upset by the dean's return did announce that Jeff was stealing from the school. He claimed he had a witness and pointed to Chang.

Maid Annie could not allow Jeff to be imprisoned so she pleaded with Chang to renounce Duncan's claim in exchange for her place in the group. Everyone protested, Jeff most of all, but she assured him she had to do this for him. If he were to be arrested, his record would be tarnished, and all hope of becoming a lawyer again would be lost. And so Jeff relented, and Chang readily agreed.

However, before Chang could give his statement to the dean, Jeff stood and admitted that he stole the kettle corn and did so alone. Duncan appeared pleased until Jeff gave an impassioned speech that his actions were done in the name of preserving the moral of the students. The dean, inspired by Jeff's generosity did not press charges and insisted Duncan use his earnings to purchase free kettle corn for all the students of Greendale Community College.

So Greendale got its kettle corn, the study group kept Annie, and thanks to Duncan's rule they no longer had to worry about Chang.

But the most important lesson in this tale, my fair folk, is the knowledge that Maid Annie would do anything to save Jeff of Winger, and he, in turn, would do the same for her.

So endeth the story.


End file.
